All names have been changed to protect the "innocent."

My oldest son, we call him Buddy, is nine years old.  And he's nearly as tall as me.  He's about 4'10", and I'm 5".  Buddy is just full of love and hugginess.  Sometimes we call him the big cat, because he loves to bump his head on us, and rub.  Our Buddy has come a long way in the last few years.  He turned five just days after we moved to Northern Ireland.  At this point he was very immature, and his verbal skills were just horrible.  He could use lots and lots of words, but rarely in a sentence, and never to give a proper answer to a question.  If you asked him a question, he'd just answer back with whatever was in his head at the time (trains, trucks, cars).  He was absolutely brilliant though.  He knew and could recognise all the letters by the time he was two, as well as being able to count to 20, and he knew all of his shapes and colours.  However, if he wanted to explain anything to you, I'd have to translate it for you because it just wouldn't make sense.  And the toileting issues!  Years and years of poopy underpants and tears.

Before we moved, we enrolled Buddy in a private preschool for a year, just to prepare him for school (I was sensing all was not quite right).  And he did have a hard time.  I could see the other kids were miles ahead of him socially and developmentally.  He got a lot of love and care at that school, and they gently pointed me to the idea that he may have autism.  After we moved, I contacted the local integrated primary school to see about enrolling him in P1, and to alert them to my concerns.  Now, this is where fate really put her hand in.  This school, while being a mainstream school, is one of the best schools for special needs children in Northern Ireland.  From the head mistress on down, all the teachers and staff have had lots of training and experience with autistic and other special needs children.  The magnitude of our luckiness is still overwhelming!  Buddy was welcomed with open arms, and has been given every help and assistance to succeed at school.  At first, it was very hard for him, frightening and overwhelming.  He often tried to escape school, or would lock himself into bathrooms and classrooms.  With help from the school, and from his clinical psychologist, we've gotten past those behaviours, as well as the toileting issues (hurray!)

We also had two to three years of aggression problems.  Buddy has beaten the bejeezus out of us a time or two.  When he becomes really upset, his verbal ability just crashes.  For awhile, we had a pop-up tent in his room that we would stick him in to keep him (and us) safe until he calmed down.  Fortunately, this has really dropped off lately.  He still has him moments, but they are a lot easier to deal with, and much less often.

Now, Buddy is in P5 with a full time classroom assistant (who loves him).  His maths skills are great.  He has some trouble with reading.  He doesn't seem to process all of the words on the page, and he doesn't seem to be aware when he reads something the wrong way.  He plays floor hockey and gaelic football after school.  He loves dodgeball and has some friends.  He does still have trouble understanding social situations, and can misinterpret rough play as meanness.  His attention span is poor, and he needs his tasks broken down into small steps.  Buddy has come so far since he started school.  We can have little chats sometimes, although I think he finds it hard work, and tiring.  He can be a bit rough with his brothers, and often doesn't understand that they're smaller and weaker than he is.  He just gets carried away sometimes, and can't calm himself.  And he's still a thumb-sucker, and goes to sleep with a big cuddle from me every night, while he twirls my hair.  Nearly every night he makes an appearance in our room, looking for company (this is why we bought the HUGE bed).  But, he loves his cuddles, and he loves his mama.  My Buddy is just a lovely guy.  He may not ever be able to live independently, but he'll take care of me.